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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?